Let’s start with dreams. I slept fitfully, probably a result of going to bed too early.

I was in bed, but it wasn’t my bed – It was a different room, and the bed was pressed against a different wall. Thinking of it, it was the same bedroom orientation as the dude I’m banging, but in my dream it was my room.

I was going to sleep, when my friend (who I was actually supposed to see last night) came into my room, and into my bed. She was wearing all black, as she often does, and she proceeded to start fucking me. Weirdly, she had a dick, I remember being surprised, but not really as quite honestly, she might. She also had cat ears, and I remember her saying she had them surgically put on. Her friend came in (who is veritably a real life trans) with a variety of toys (including a super thin rosebud bullet that looked like a vibrating sound – I have to see if I can buy one of these) and proceeded to really put in the effort to get me off.

Apparently my housemates (!) were mad about the noise. I remember earlier in the dream that I had been hearing someone’s TV through the wall – hopefully that wasn’t a bleedthrough from the real world. A few of them – naked men – came in. One was a big white dude that I think I remember from somewhere, the other was a good looking older Black gentleman who I think I’ve seen at WalMart sometime. They were sympathetic, but hey, keep it down. I remember the Black man looking at me with an expression that summarized that sentiment so perfectly as I woke up

I woke up at 2:50am, before I usually even go to sleep

There was another set of dreams after I got up, made myself a couple of burritos, and went back to sleep at about 3:30-4am, my ideal time. I had them in my head when I sat down, but they’re gone now.

It’s weird that I remember that Black man from Walmart so well. Incidentally, I had been at WalMart earlier that night, before the boy texted me and I flew like a woman possessed over his apartment to fuck him again. At Walmart, I ran into a friend, who was working there, much to my surprise and his embarassment. He explained that he was paying double rent. I didn’t want to bother him as he was obviously bothered by my noticing him, but I should have pressed. He had a great apartment, and a reportedly great landlord, and I also have to move. As a matter of fact, I am looking at another apartment today. I feel like I missed a great fortuitous opportunity – I went back into the store to see if I could find him again, but I couldn’t. Maybe I should go back tonight and try again.

Finding apartments is tough for me. I still haven’t come clean (lol) about work, I don’t care and no one cares. I have no verifiable employment, and my credit is non-existent. I also have never in my life had only one job, I just wake up each morning (aside from during this mental health break that is fraying apart at the end) and see what I can do to make the most money. I don’t know why people are always so puzzled by that. I always pay.

Incidentally, my manager from a gig that I sometimes work just texted me. This could be another very handy coincidence, maybe he’ll agree to be my employer contact this time around, save me the hundred bucks or so from hiring a service. Also, another company that I used to work heavily for just posted some hours. Perhaps it’s the Collective trying to remind me that I’m not always quite as sketchy as I look, and that I shouldn’t be spending money to prove that I have money.

Just a note, for the ad-clicker – whenever I make a song tag, it’s just because I looked over and that’s the song that was playing. I obviously can’t write every song, and the whole thing is just an experiments.

Also, when posts are short, it’s because I got swept up in the breeze of the day and couldn’t stay focused.