And I guess that’s why I keep trying to scrape things, pieces of myself, and my life, and what I used to have, together off the floor, because I miss that. I miss her so much. I miss having a life that might somehow mean something.
I remember that there was a time not too many years ago that I used to feel this way about my boyfriend. What will I do when I feel this way about the boy, the way that I currently feel about my boyfriend?
My ex texted today. He is stuck in California. I worry about his parents, and I was planning to call them. My boyfriend doesn’t understand why, but it just shows that underneath all of the flash and show, he doesn’t really know what it’s like to truly care about people. He would never call his ex, and I can see now that that’s what this dream was about (or at least what I’ve made it about now). I’m enjoying this exercise immensely, but I wish I didn’t dream about other people so much. I actually hate Coldplay, but someone we, My ex and I, both loved loved them so much. I wish I had more dreams about her. I miss her so much. I have to realize that there are several reasons that we, My ex and I, can never get back the life that we had together, at least not any of the good parts.