Once at the top, My boyfriend parked, and was leaning on the back bumper of his car. I went in for a hug, and the feeling… I could feel him be warm, and somewhat squishy, but his arms were limp at his sides. I tried to find his collarbone with my cheek to feel his structure… Did I find it? I woke up.
I don’t respond well to stress. I wake up fine when there’s nothing for me to do, when there’s nothing for me to hide from. It’s when I most can’t spend the time, can’t afford to fuck up, that I force myself to sleep late, reject calls on my phone, and wrap myself in blankets wondering if I’ll oversleep rather than just get up and make sure that I don’t.