And I guess that’s why I keep trying to scrape things, pieces of myself, and my life, and what I used to have, together off the floor, because I miss that. I miss her so much. I miss having a life that might somehow mean something.
I keep checking my coffee to see how much as left, and I have a realization that I’m exactly like I used to be, when I was with my ex. I have feelings, they are too big for me to hold, and so I will largely ignore them, perhaps go and make some grand vocal expression to allude to the fact that I feel big things, as a way of handing him my feelings so that I can just go and get back to work. It must have been crushing for him. It’s crushing for me. And I have so much work to do, I don’t have time for this today.