It occurs to me that I use the same set of pronouns to describe my ex and the boy. Should I be fine with that, just like I was fine with all the abuse from my ex… the hand crawls up to cradle the back of my head, thumb pressed up under my jaw, the heel of the palm in the nape of my neck, fingers fanned from there. He had one forearm pressed against my neck, the other hand keeping my head from the floor. I put my arms out and gave up. He said he saw me disengage, and it was terrifying.