I saw my ex yesterday, and fully fuck that guy. He had one of his girlfriends with him, even though he knew that was expressly not allowed. Of course, he just took the fact that he had done wrong as a trigger to scream at me, as always.
I’m crying anyway. I’m afraid the surgery didn’t work, I am in pain again and physically, with my hand on my body, it doesn’t feel right. I’m back to the state that I was when I started this page, waking up crying for no reason and then writing long streams of conscious thought to see if I can pick out some reason why, like examining the vomit of a suicide attempt victim to see if you can find any of the pills, to know what poison to treat for.