All of my relationships have been like that. The boyfriend I had 20 years ago – we were rolling down a hill, rolled into each other, and continued doing that for 2 years. The next guy I was seeing in the interim? My friends and I got out to stretch at a rest stop during a long car ride, a sexy man in a nice car saw me, and that kicked off one of the most tumultuous relationship I, and several of my friends, ever had. Then I saw one of his hot friends and basically ran away with him. When that fizzled, I called this random dude to come get me from a place I barely knew I was, and that was the infamous ex.
Ironically, my brother and I are talking about fish. My dream makes sense in a prophetic sense now. So much sense and too much sense. I think he misses our house too, as a matter of fact I know he does. Thinking about him hurts me so much constantly, how did we let this happen to us? I know he feels terrible, and knows that he’s causing us pain, and I know he just wants to be out of this world to stop hurting everyone around him by just being there. I know the feeling, but I know he knows it better. I don’t want to make him sad and talk about it, but I do desperately want to tell him that he’s absolutely all I’ve got, and never to even think about leaving me here alone. Ever. I want to tell him it will get better but it probably won’t. I don’t want him to leave because I am selfish.