I’m still in the detox phase, all of the time that he takes up is left unclaimed and has to be reorganized back into my own life. But I see that it’s there, and the potential for me to take my life back is there. Yes, I’ll miss texting him throughout the day, but it’s time for me to think about who I should be texting instead. So, so many people.
I feel like this is how I would feel, perhaps, if the boy cheated on me. He is not ready for the relationship I want, though he wants to be, just like my college ex. I am unfair, making demands that I will not keep – from their perspective. In my mind, it’s different, but I seem to always be unable to fully explain why, because they do not understand.
I hate the point in planning where it changes from “I want to do this” to “I know that I will regret not doing this” and that is pretty much where everything goes with him. It was the same with my ex, and I think it’s been the same with other people in my life as well, maybe my brother?