Top Stories

Top Stories

Sort: All Time | Today Only | This Week | This Month | This Year

Sorry...Oh yeah its really funny to let me get wasted and get a tattoo of a rainbow with a unicorn running on it on my lower back. I HATE YOU GUYS! What kinds of friends do you think you are letting one of your homeboys get the GAYEST tattoo EVER tattood to my body!...that's my apology

#2778

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (85429) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (12434)

Feb 23, 2010 01:48 AM - Miscellaneous - by NOT FRIENDS

Sorry...My mom called her a butter face because she hates fat girls.But theirs no worse humiliation then your own mom calling you a chubby chaser.Every single time she sees us she says, "Oh what's chubby chaser and butter face up to? I bet butter face is up to 1,000LBS." Well you know what, F*CK YOU MOM!!!...that's my apolo.gy

#2760

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (84791) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (5485)

Feb 20, 2010 02:14 AM - Love - by People are people

Sorry...Whenever I want to test out the faithfullness of a new guy I'm dating I go to the Sprint store and send overtly sexual texts from their phones. It's sneaky but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do...that's my apology

#2833

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (84295) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (9032)

Mar 5, 2010 02:13 AM - Love - by Anonymous

Sorry...I'm proud of myself because Monday morning I went to Walgreens for cigarrettes and Red bull instead of cigarrettes, Red bull, and Plan B...that's my apology

#2816

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (83719) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (6202)

Mar 2, 2010 02:03 AM - Health - by Im growing up

Sorry...Sooner or later your "pull out before I jizz" technique was bound to fail. How about you think of the twins as less, 'double the life-lesson because I'm a dumb ass' and more double the joy???...that's my apology

#2812

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (82183) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (11097)

Mar 1, 2010 01:24 AM - Sex - by Momentary pleasure lifelong pain

Sorry...I'm 100% sure that wasn't just pot he smoked. He screamed that his real name is SpongeBob and attempted to dive into the toilet to try to "save us all from drowning". Well, at least we know that even though hes a drug addict hes benevolent...that's my apology

#2795

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (81188) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (14544)

Feb 26, 2010 02:46 AM - Drunk/Drugs - by Drugs are badly

Sorry...I wear Ed Hardy and Affliction shirts so people think I'm just a douchebag instead of realizing that I'm a closet homosexual...that's my apology

#2787

1 Comments

Are You Serious??? (81109) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (5287)

Feb 25, 2010 12:40 AM - Miscellaneous - by Anonymous

Sorry...I've been told I'm really good at fist pumping. I think it's because I mastrubate alot. Go figure...that's my apology

#2801

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (81101) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (10457)

Feb 27, 2010 01:11 PM - Sex - by Thick wrist

Sorry...Mom, I called you a fatso because you called me a baldy and the only person that is allowed to call me a fatso is Dad, jeez!...that's my apology

#2823

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (80984) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (7453)

Mar 2, 2010 11:45 PM - Miscellaneous - by Im 35 and bald

Sorry...The only reason I still had sex with her even though I'm pretty sure her butt was full of anal warts is because first of all she let me do her in the butt without a rubber and secondly counting all the warts is what distracted me from jizzing so fast...that's my apology

#2774

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (80922) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (5330)

Feb 22, 2010 01:51 AM - Sex - by Kevin Kappa Sig

Sorry...Whenever I feel fat I go to Walmart and look at the people to feel better. God bless america!...that's my apolo.gy

#2753

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (80186) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (8996)

Feb 19, 2010 02:02 AM - Miscellaneous - by Proud RWB

Sorry...I'm not a weirdo I just don't like my stuffed animals watching us having sex...that's my apology

#2810

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (80015) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (9916)

Mar 1, 2010 12:57 AM - Sex - by Wendy Spencer

Sorry...The only thing that gave away that I was cheating on him with Rick, who was hiding under the bed when he came home, was that I queefed in his mouth. Well he, insisted on having sex and going down on me and Rick had been f*cking me so good that I was pumped full of air. The queef caused the divorce...that's my apology

#2772

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (79871) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (5219)

Feb 22, 2010 01:32 AM - Love - by Holy Queef

Sorry...He's a doctor, tall, blonde hair, blue eyes, never married, and no kids and he was whispering sweet nothings in my ear. That's when I caught a whiff of the most rediculously putrid halitosis EVER. I puked in my mouth a little bit, pardoned myself to the restroom and made a B line for my car and left. YUCK!!!...that's my apology

#2804

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (79846) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (9196)

Feb 28, 2010 03:28 AM - Love - by Bad breath a no go

Sorry...For yelling at you mom. I was out of line. I just don't like the way you stare at my lips when you get drunk...that's my apology

#2822

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (78994) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (5224)

Mar 2, 2010 11:41 PM - Miscellaneous - by SM Me

Sorry...For a drunk ass he's kind of smart. He got pulled over so he turned the car off, moved over on the passenger side of the car busted open the bottle of Jack Daniels and started chugging it down. He got off because the couldn't tell if he got drunk while sitting there or before he started driving...that's my apolo.gy

#2766

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (78900) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (8593)

Feb 20, 2010 11:51 PM - Drunk/Drugs - by Drunk PHD

Sorry...He jizzed in my mouth without warning me but I blew him while I had an open herpes blister inside my lips. I'd say we're even...that's my apolo.gy

#2694

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (78773) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (8996)

Feb 8, 2010 04:14 AM - Sex - by Anonymous

Sorry...I think I'm going to start car pooling with Carey to Planned Parenthood because I've seen her there on Monday for the last 3 weeks getting her Morning After Pill fix just like me...that's my apolo.gy

#2665

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (78646) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (9786)

Feb 3, 2010 01:29 AM - Health - by Eco friendly minded

Sorry...I hate my parents because I wasn't born with any cool genetic mutations. Like I wish my finger could vibrate. I would be a hit with the ladies. But noooooo I had to be born with a bump on my arse that looks like a tail. Thanks for nothing mom and dad!!!...that's my apolo.gy

#2767

1 Comments

Are You Serious??? (78566) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (10097)

Feb 20, 2010 11:55 PM - Health - by Anonymous

Sorry...I'm all out of medical passes so I shat on my hand and wiped it on my face to get out of taking my biology exam. Yeah its great that I got out of the test but the school thinks im crazy now and theyre putting me in the class with the retards...that's my apolo.gy

#2635

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (78477) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (9292)

Jan 28, 2010 03:49 AM - School - by Filzo de boyle

Sorry...You are perfect in every other way. Handsome, white, rich, funny but Jesus Christ How am I supposed to feal? Youre the one with the baby pinky mouse sized erect penis!! What am I supposed to do with that thing??? I swear if your cock was a fish I'd definantly catch and release it...that's my apolo.gy

#2620

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (78465) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (7420)

Jan 25, 2010 02:43 AM - Love - by Not your girlfriend

Sorry...I wish Adderall could have been my mom and dad...that's my apolo.gy

#2716

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (78453) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (8853)

Feb 12, 2010 03:56 AM - Drunk/Drugs - by My parents suck unlike Addie

Sorry...I introduced my boyfriend to my dad. As luck would have it they already knew each other. Yeah, they met each other at the gay bar my boyfriend valets at. So I found out today that my dad is a closet homo and he thinks my boyfriend is a loser and needs to get a 'real job'...that's my apology

#2799

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (78415) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (5901)

Feb 27, 2010 02:46 AM - Love - by Great day

Sorry...He texted me thanking me for the best blow job of his life. It gets worse. Then said, "your lips and tongue are like a soft and warm clam. You are amazing" I mean WTF is that shit supposed to mean?? "like a clam" ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I'm never blowing another dude I meet off Myspace!!!...that's my apolo.gy

#2749

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (78103) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (6512)

Feb 18, 2010 02:00 AM - Sex - by Myspace tranny

Sorry...We changed the name of our wifi network to "Hey apt. 342 we can hear you having sex" because its disgusting to imagine 2 morbidely obese ppl having at it. Especially since you 2 fattys have more sex then we do...that's my apology

#2832

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (77897) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (6315)

Mar 5, 2010 02:07 AM - Miscellaneous - by Golden retelli

Sorry...Your penis burns because I put bleach in the moisturizer bottle you use to jerk off with. No I'm not bitter that I can't have sex with my husband for 40 days!!! Who in their right mind gives up sex for Lent??? I should have listened to mom and NEVER married a gentile, you people are CRAZY!!!...that's my apology

#2784

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (77838) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (5218)

Feb 24, 2010 02:24 AM - Health - by Bad choices

Sorry...Take it as a compliment. If your mother wasn't such a slut you might not have ever been born...that's my apolo.gy

#2706

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (77645) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (3857)

Feb 10, 2010 01:21 AM - Miscellaneous - by Prissy Who dat

Sorry...I'm not a slut. I just want to have as many penises inside of me as possible until I choose 'the one' penis....that's my apolo.gy

#2717

1 Comments

Are You Serious??? (77635) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (5897)

Feb 12, 2010 04:00 AM - Sex - by Slut MacGee

Sorry...Seeing your mom at my college graduation was probobly the highlight. I remember wanting to motorboat her massive tits when I was a kid. I still do. Well, I mean, I still motorboat her tits when you and your dad go on your annual hunting trip. Yeah I'm banging your mom bro....that's my apolo.gy

#2713

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (77539) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (2472)

Feb 12, 2010 03:49 AM - Sex - by I heart you bro

Sorry...I was so high on those shrooms that I threw up on the atm machine and thought my vomit was cum and that I needed to pin my password in with my tongue. Then it kicked out my money and I thought it was a penis so I grabbed it with my lips and mouth. Do you realize how fucking gay I feel right now?...that's my apolo.gy

#2637

1 Comments

Are You Serious??? (77530) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (9002)

Jan 28, 2010 03:55 AM - Sex - by Urine fag

Sorry...For putting black body paint on the midgets and making them pick up cotton balls off the yard at our frat party...that's my apology

#2796

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (76792) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (1194)

Feb 27, 2010 02:24 AM - Miscellaneous - by Fraternity Guy

Sorry...So high that I thought the bank was a Whataburger and the ATM was where I needed to place my order!!!...that's my apolo.gy

#2668

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (76748) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (5002)

Feb 3, 2010 02:01 AM - Drunk/Drugs - by Higher then ever

Sorry...Your cubicle smells like puke because last night I lifted your trash bag out of your trash can and puked between the trash can and the plastic bag. Yeah I feel bad but not bad enought to tell you to your face or point you into the direction of this website. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...that's my apolo.gy

#2711

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (76729) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (5810)

Feb 11, 2010 01:30 AM - Drunk/Drugs - by Anonymous

Sorry...The only thing that made having diahrea at my boyfriends parents house worse is that I dropped my mobile phone in the toilet before flushing AND I vomited in my purse. His mom gave me food poisoning and this is the first time theyve met me. Good luck explaining this one Ashley...that's my apolo.gy

#2658

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (76720) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (9558)

Jan 31, 2010 08:59 PM - Health - by His mom cant cook

Sorry...I went through your IPhone to see if your cheating on me and I accidently called one of your friends. Because I didn't know how to turn it off I threw it in the toilet. I took a hairdryer to it to dry it out then put it back on the charger before you woke up. Well, now you know...that's my apology

#2803

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (76523) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (9843)

Feb 28, 2010 03:18 AM - Miscellaneous - by it wasnt just broken

Sorry...Hes an awesomee guy but he named his cats after his dead parents. Of course I didn't give him a second date...that's my apolo.gy

#2761

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (76315) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (7992)

Feb 20, 2010 03:37 AM - The Ex(New Category) - by Fran

Sorry...i weigh about 75 pounds more then all the pics I posted on m@tch.com. I really hope your into BBW and I can't wait to finally meet you later!!!...that's my apology

#2818

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (76314) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (8417)

Mar 2, 2010 02:21 AM - Love - by Gloria just for you

Sorry...I love jerking off because my parents and I are really religious. I think if I stopped going to church id probobly stop jerking off. But I'll never stop farting on my hand and smelling it...that's my apology

#2775

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (76291) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (9826)

Feb 23, 2010 01:31 AM - Miscellaneous - by Fratelli

Sorry...He popped a zit on his back then immediately reached down and started fingering me. Please get me out of this relationship!...that's my apolo.gy

#2606

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (76097) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (11949)

Jan 22, 2010 04:26 AM - Love - by Hellen of Hell

Sorry...He kept calling himself "The Jersey Shorty" and was fist pumping. Yes that drunk midget was standing on her shoulders and fist pumping!...that's my apology

#2793

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (75825) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (5889)

Feb 26, 2010 02:32 AM - Drunk/Drugs - by The Jersey Shorty

Sorry...It doesn't make me gay just because I think the figure skating dude that won the gold is kind of hot. I like his hair and ass. I'm sure thats the way most of us straight guys think...that's my apolo.gy

#2762

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (75617) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (9912)

Feb 20, 2010 03:39 AM - Miscellaneous - by New Mex 777

Sorry...I have nothing in my entire body left to throw up. I will never again think of myself as a genius for making a Vodka and Visine martini. Someone please shoot me...that's my apolo.gy

#2673

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (75478) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (9245)

Feb 4, 2010 04:33 AM - Drunk/Drugs - by Dumb Assssssssss

Sorry...Having sex with him was like having sex with Christopher Reeves before he died but after his accident. Yes I felt like I was having sex with a paraplegic...that's my apolo.gy

#2671

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (75468) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (7853)

Feb 4, 2010 04:27 AM - Sex - by 8ky4n

Sorry...He kept telling us he was raised by dolphins and insisted on snorting the entire 8 ball and jumping in the pool...that's my apolo.gy

#2677

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (75467) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (8702)

Feb 5, 2010 04:31 AM - Drunk/Drugs - by Dances with Dolphins

Sorry...If I don't call you in 15 minutes just know that my phone got stuck inside of her vagina...that's my apolo.gy

#2636

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (75422) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (7489)

Jan 28, 2010 03:52 AM - Sex - by Fart Knockers

Sorry...The hooker kept calling me 'son' and was getting pissed when I couldn't cum. Ummm you weren't making it better whore by saying, "Hurry up and cum son" or "Son, you need to just hurry up and cum, please son"...that's my apolo.gy

#2638

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (75269) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (6427)

Jan 28, 2010 03:58 AM - Sex - by Hooker fancy

Sorry...since when is it ever ok to serve martinis from a gas can? And who said your not supposed to wash the can out before trying something so stupid? And whos bright friggin idea was it to throw a cigarette butt inside??? You idiots are paying for the new coffee table not me!...that's my apolo.gy

#2657

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (75269) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (8921)

Jan 31, 2010 08:54 PM - Drunk/Drugs - by pissed off

Sorry...I have rediculous cotton mouth, everything is hilarious, Im starving, and I can't feel the lower half of my body. I have a mid term in 1 hour and if Carlos spiked my orange juice with that sh!t we used to make the space cakes last night I'm going to kill him hahahahahahahahahahahaha...that's my apology

#2817

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (75214) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (8993)

Mar 2, 2010 02:08 AM - Drunk/Drugs - by Carlos I h8 u

Sorry...You got drunk and told us that at night when no one can see you turn into a stork and deliver babies. And you explained this is why your nose is so long and hooked. It's because you're a bird not a Jew. Well anyway Pearlman, you're a funny drunk teee hee...that's my apology

#2779

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (75182) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (9827)

Feb 23, 2010 01:58 AM - Drunk/Drugs - by Mozoltov

Sorry...I came in her eye on accident. She slapped me in the face. She threw off my tragectory and I started cumming in her hair. She then punched me in the balls. I blacked out. Now I don't know where I am or why my butthole hurts so bad...that's my apolo.gy

#2602

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (74911) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (13399)

Jan 22, 2010 04:16 AM - Sex - by Pepple of the wordl

Sorry...I lied about wearing the condom yes but I pulled out after I started cumming. I didnt cum that deeply inside of you so you probobly wont get pregnant. That's what abortions are for anyway...that's my apolo.gy

#2740

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (74559) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (2461)

Feb 17, 2010 01:49 AM - Sex - by Mike L

Sorry...She was crying and I had a hard on. That little voice in my head said to whipe her tears off with my penis. So I pulled out my hard cock and gently whiped her eye. She opened her eyes and hammer fisted me in the nuts. FUCK YOU INNER VOICE!!!...that's my apolo.gy

#2621

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (74360) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (8676)

Jan 25, 2010 02:55 AM - Love - by I hate you voice

Sorry...He unzipped his pants and said "release the Kraken" and I was expecting a monsterous schlong and out came a baby carrot sized penis. I swear BABY CARROT SIZED!...that's my apology

#2827

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (74223) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (8213)

Mar 4, 2010 03:07 AM - Miscellaneous - by Seeing is believing

Sorry...He's drunk and is screaming that his bunghole is the loosest bunghole on any straight guy and that we can stick a baby banana in it to prove his point. Please take him home...that's my apolo.gy

#2678

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (74217) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (8954)

Feb 5, 2010 04:34 AM - Drunk/Drugs - by Sally Karthiks friend

Sorry...The real reason I do yoga is so that one day I can be limber enough to suck on my own penis...that's my apolo.gy

#2612

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (74174) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (14215)

Jan 24, 2010 05:03 AM - Sex - by Cocktimus Prime

Sorry...My 2 year old found my vibrator and had it in her mouth this morning. At first I was mad at her for getting her disgusting saliva all over it then I got kind of proud of her. Hopefully her oral fixation is going to make her a high priced porn star one day and her mom will be very very proud then :-D...that's my apology

#2773

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (74128) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (1298)

Feb 22, 2010 01:43 AM - Work - by Anonymous

Sorry...He actually said, "Damn girl your dad would be proud of how tight your pussy is" WHILE he was inside of me. I literally threw up in my mouth a little...that's my apolo.gy

#2672

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (74126) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (4095)

Feb 4, 2010 04:29 AM - Sex - by Horrible bedside manner

Sorry...I explained to my wife that there was glitter on my penis because the stripper dropped her make up bag down my pants and the bag ended up inside my underwear when I went to go pee. I'm pretty sure she didn't believe that. Honestly though that blow job was worth my imminent divorce...that's my apology

#2809

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (73850) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (8769)

Mar 1, 2010 12:55 AM - Sex - by Colt train Dan

Sorry...I am changing your name in my phone from "Mona" to "Girfriend Mona" immediately! You are right below "MOM" in my phone and I just sexted my mom a total anal rape fantasy I want you to give me for my birthday. I'm drunk and your right next to each other in my phone and I just want to die now...that's my apolo.gy

#2619

1 Comments

Are You Serious??? (73277) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (14202)

Jan 25, 2010 02:32 AM - Drunk/Drugs - by Carlos Mensa

Sorry...My nuts are killing me because I accidentally sat on her pet ferret. Yes the 'big hand' girl also has a friggin rodent she keeps as a pet and it bit the sh!t out of my nuts. I know I know I need stop dating chix I meet at Sears...that's my apology

#2820

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (72893) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (5427)

Mar 2, 2010 02:33 AM - Miscellaneous - by Utah Pineapple Express J3

Sorry...No Clarissa the skirt isnt making you look fat. Your cottage cheesy thighs is whats giving it away I think. Plus it's like what mom has always said, "Clarissa the clothes dont make you look fat. It's your fat thats making you look fat"...that's my apology

#2794

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (72618) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (8852)

Feb 26, 2010 02:37 AM - Health - by Being honest

Sorry...When I pulled down her panties I noticed her ex boyfriends name was tatooed to near her crotch. His name is Tyrone. She swore up and down shes never fucked a black dude. What non black dude is named Tyrone???...that's my apolo.gy

#2598

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (72604) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (11093)

Jan 21, 2010 05:40 AM - Miscellaneous - by Dont lie to me

Sorry...When his dad noticed I could see hit red, veiny, sagging nut sack hanging down under his shorts while he was sitting down, he looked at me and winked. Get me out of this homo-erotic suburban hell hole!!...that's my apolo.gy

#2710

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (72363) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (10947)

Feb 11, 2010 01:29 AM - Miscellaneous - by Anonymous

Sorry...I lied to you before our wedding Steven. I've had sex with dozens of black guys. And yes they all have a larger penis then you...that's my apolo.gy

#2752

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (71850) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (8531)

Feb 19, 2010 02:01 AM - Sex - by I heart darks

Sorry...The difference between my date and a grizzly bear isn't that the grizzly bear is more hairy because frankly Ive never seen so much chest or back hair on a homo sapien man. Its that the grizzly bear might actually be able to protect me from a mugging. Yeah he was also a wimp. A pathetic hairy wimp...that's my apology

#2811

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (71838) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (19678)

Mar 1, 2010 01:08 AM - Love - by Bad blind date

Sorry...I have herpes but don't tell my dates because it's basically like catching a cold. All you have to do is pop some pills and it goes away. Also I've found that if I talk about it, it totally ruins the sex...that's my apolo.gy

#2726

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (71251) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (3218)

Feb 14, 2010 05:02 AM - Health - by Sickamoore

Sorry...He was sucking on my boobies and asked me to call him son. Yes that was weird but it gets worse. What I was afraid would happen, happened. He called me mom. I preteneded like I left my phone in the car, got my purse and almost broke a leg running down the stairs to leave that freaks apartment...that's my apolo.gy

#2759

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (71175) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (6784)

Feb 20, 2010 02:09 AM - Sex - by Weirdo magnet

Sorry...Yes I'll have sex with you after dinner but if I miss any of The Bachelor I'm not going to shave my vajayjay for a year. Feel like gambling?...that's my apolo.gy

#2742

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (71173) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (5993)

Feb 17, 2010 02:53 AM - Sex - by I Heart Lost

Sorry...I prefer peeing in your sink because I'm tall, lazy, and love staring at myself in the mirror whilst peeing...that's my apolo.gy

#2748

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (71146) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (2119)

Feb 18, 2010 01:57 AM - Miscellaneous - by Elbow length

Sorry...I call my wife 'a fat whale' and 'worthless' every day and as often as possible because I've found that the lower I can keep her self esteem the more likely she is to bake delicious brownies and cakes. Comfort foods like these help her cope and I love deserts...that's my apolo.gy

#2627

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (71138) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (385)

Jan 26, 2010 07:09 PM - Love - by TVK 818

Sorry...I thought I was dreaming about Jessica Biel giving me the best blow job of my life but it was my drunk roomate! My GAY, MALE DRUNK ROOMATE!!! The worst part about it is I woke up before he was done and I didn't stop him from finishing, felt too damn good That makes me a f*cking HOMO God Damnit!...that's my apolo.gy

#2741

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (71126) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (4356)

Feb 17, 2010 01:59 AM - Sex - by HOMO

Sorry...Because of last night I put Icy Hot all over my vagina today. I'd say he's a keeper!!...that's my apology

#2815

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (71118) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (6825)

Mar 2, 2010 02:01 AM - Sex - by Beet that pussy up

Sorry...Not knowing the difference between Mount Rushmore and Sorority "Rush" shouldnt have made me want to put a roofie in your drink and have anal sex with you all night...BUUUUUT....I could'nt help myself that's what dumb people deserve...that's my apolo.gy

#2570

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (71115) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (1495)

Jan 17, 2010 10:00 AM - Sex - by I was horny so what

Sorry...Her vagina was so loose it felt like I was having sex with a bowl of warm water...that's my apolo.gy

#2609

1 Comments

Are You Serious??? (71112) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (9377)

Jan 23, 2010 05:43 AM - Sex - by Anonymous

Sorry...I asked you to smack me on the ass and tug on my hair while your fucking me from behind. When did I EVER ask you to donkey punch me unconscience???...that's my apolo.gy

#2552

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (70124) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (12919)

Jan 14, 2010 02:32 AM - Sex - by Anonymous

Sorry...I put peanut butter in my underwear when I was summoned to jury duty so that when I had to answer to the prosecutor I reached down in there and then starting licking my fingers. It looked like I was eating my own shit. I got out of jury duty...that's my apolo.gy

#2550

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (69987) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (2183)

Jan 14, 2010 02:27 AM - Miscellaneous - by Jury Jerry

Sorry...I was really in the moment with my boyfriend. He smacked my ass. It felt so amazing that I even felt the vibration in my vajayjay. Problem is I accidently unclenched and sharted myself...that's my apology

#2819

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (69896) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (10989)

Mar 2, 2010 02:28 AM - Miscellaneous - by Valerie Purple

Sorry...I snuck off to the bathroom and masterbated during the chick flick because you turn into a big ball of teary mess watching the dvd and the only time I like fucking you with mascara all over your face is when your drunk off your ass...that's my apolo.gy

#2648

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (69854) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (2912)

Jan 30, 2010 06:40 AM - Sex - by Anonymous

Sorry...I saw a guy wearing an ed hardy tshirt fighting a guy in an affliction tshirt. They were messing each other up pretty good. Thats how I know God has a sense of humor...that's my apolo.gy

#2527

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (69821) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (10099)

Jan 10, 2010 04:52 AM - Miscellaneous - by DB city

Sorry...I ended up in jail because my choices were to fight the police and go to jail or go home to a drunk and fat wife who insists on straddling me while she's on the rag...that's my apolo.gy

#2559

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (69628) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (11020)

Jan 15, 2010 01:18 AM - Sex - by Goolzbe

Sorry...I started telling people I was Bill Gates and that I had "Help Haiti" written on my dick and for a blow job I'd donate a billion dollars to them. Either people realized I was full of shit or people don't give a shit about Haiti or both...that's my apolo.gy

#2569

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (69583) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (8994)

Jan 17, 2010 09:55 AM - Drunk/Drugs - by Help Hey Tee

Sorry...I sharted down the back of her throat while she was asleep with her mouth open. Don't ask me how it happened, it's not the proudest moment for me. Just know that it happened....that's my apolo.gy

#2557

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (69556) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (8092)

Jan 15, 2010 01:11 AM - Health - by Federlionn

Sorry...I'm a male nurse and every night I have sex with women in a long term coma in my hospital ward because I think they need pleasure too. I think of myself as an angel of pleasure...that's my apolo.gy

#2564

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (69311) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (1016)

Jan 16, 2010 02:32 AM - Sex - by Anonymous

Sorry...How am I supposed to explain to my parents that you got drunk and peed in their dryer? The washing machine might even be forgivable because at least you can wash it out but JESUS CHRIST GUY how do you wash out urine from a dryer?????...that's my apology

#2785

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (69217) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (8252)

Feb 24, 2010 02:31 AM - Miscellaneous - by Canada Guy Guys

Sorry...She told me the shirt I just tried on made me look fat. I looked at her straight in the face and told her that the fat she has all over her body makes her look fat...that's my apolo.gy

#2725

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (68622) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (5698)

Feb 14, 2010 04:59 AM - Health - by Ebert Loler

Sorry...There is nothing weird about it. I'm marrying her because she looks and sounds alot like Snookie from Jersey Shore...that's my apolo.gy

#2651

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (68485) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (5809)

Jan 31, 2010 06:12 AM - Love - by Situation

Sorry...I was hoping Kanye would interrupt Chuck Norris at the grammys so Chuckie would roundhouse Kanye back to africa. It all made sense because I was high. I dont think Chuck was even at the grammys but I still hate niggers! I sure do know that...that's my apolo.gy

#2662

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (68480) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (5892)

Feb 2, 2010 02:12 AM - Drunk/Drugs - by KKK alllll the way

Sorry...I jizzed in her facial cream because the b-tch didn't let me jizz on her face during sex. I may be passive aggresive but at least I dont rub jizz on my face every day now...that's my apolo.gy

#2737

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (68425) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (2111)

Feb 16, 2010 02:16 AM - Sex - by Creamie face

Sorry...No idiot 4 advils don't give you a 16 hour hard on that was 4 of my viagras and you now owe me $40 to replace them, you tool!!...that's my apology

#2792

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (67893) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (7812)

Feb 26, 2010 02:30 AM - Drunk/Drugs - by Dumb friends are dumber

Sorry...To the guy behind me at fast food burger place here in Los Angeles that paid for the food I drove off with. The only thing I would have done differently is that I wish you hated onions and pickles like me because that would have made your lunch taste better to me...that's my apology

#2776

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (67885) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (4132)

Feb 23, 2010 01:34 AM - Miscellaneous - by What a Burger

Sorry...I lied about sitting in mud. I had a diarrhea accident in the Tai Kwon Do gi. I think some got soaked into the back seat of your car FYI...that's my apology

#2831

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (67744) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (4892)

Mar 5, 2010 02:04 AM - Health - by Franz

Sorry...The last thing I remember is it's Friday night and I'm drinking my own urine mixed with bong water because Jesse dared me to do it. I have no idea why its Sunday morning I'm laying next to 2 mexican guys, wearing a sombraro. I think I became a homosexual between then and now...that's my apolo.gy

#2703

1 Comments

Are You Serious??? (67587) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (9100)

Feb 10, 2010 01:03 AM - Sex - by Ora-laid

Sorry...I was drunk, naked and sharted on your couch while I was sleeping. I did my best to clean it up but didn't have time to really dig in there and clean it well so I put a pillow on top...that's my apolo.gy

#2629

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (67566) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (7892)

Jan 27, 2010 11:58 AM - Drunk/Drugs - by Tone Anal Flow

Sorry...I did the cock in the popcorn trick. A couple problems that go together. One is that we didn't eat enough popcorn to make it to my cock and two is I got so into the movie that I forgot to take it out of the hole in the bucket before the movie was over and the lights went on...that's my apolo.gy

#2501

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (67484) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (10993)

Jan 5, 2010 03:22 AM - Sex - by Cock in a hole

Sorry...Yes its still gay to put a non-penis shaped dildo in your butthole bro....that's my apolo.gy

#2548

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (66855) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (7533)

Jan 13, 2010 12:47 AM - Sex - by Honest Tea

Sorry...I know its annoying and I'm working on it but one day hopefully I'll stop screaming, "Oh Jiminy Christmas, Oh Jiminy Christmas, Oh Jiminy Christmas, Oh Jiminy Christmas, Oh Jiminy Christmas, Oh Jiminy Christmas, Oh Jiminy Christmas, Oh Jiminy Christmas!!!" while I'm climaxing...that's my apology

#2797

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (65889) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (7922)

Feb 27, 2010 02:37 AM - Sex - by Cali girl

Sorry...we just started dating and I would already cheat on you in a second because you cant keep it up long enough to fuck me and I hate it....that's my apolo.gy

#2724

1 Comments

Are You Serious??? (65856) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (2109)

Feb 14, 2010 02:13 AM - Sex - by Anonymous

Sorry...I woke up to my zipper mask full of poo and pee. I'm never trying this S&M thing again...that's my apology

#2826

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (65846) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (8404)

Mar 4, 2010 02:40 AM - Sex - by Jim Gimp

Sorry...I was so high I thought her vagina was telling me to go f*ck myself. So I uppercutted the ever living f*ck out of her cooder. I don't remember any of it but I can't find my graduation ring and I swear I think its inside of her...that's my apolo.gy

#2758

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (65741) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (5427)

Feb 20, 2010 02:04 AM - Drunk/Drugs - by Ring Starz

Sorry...I only slept with your 18-year old daughter because you told the IRS about my offshore account. Fair enough....that's my apolo.gy

#2712

0 Comments

Are You Serious??? (65628) - Now, you might not go to Hell!!! (1286)

Feb 11, 2010 07:58 AM - Sex - by SweetRevenge

Home

Flop Stories

Random Stories

Make an Apology

Moderate

Apolo.gy Store

Facebook

Twitter

Submit your Apology

Drunk/Drugs

Health

Love

Miscellaneous

Money

School

Sex

The Ex(New Category)

Work